i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
