We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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