Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
