I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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