wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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