i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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