yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
