hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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