He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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