I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
