like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
