...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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