yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
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Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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