i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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