I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
