how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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