I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
