Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
