Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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