She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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