I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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