Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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