Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
