Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
