I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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