Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
