i wish starbucks made bloody marys
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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