i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
