Whod you bang
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
