Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
