Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize