What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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