Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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