Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
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literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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