I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
