Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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