i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So. Much. Porn.
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