"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
pray to the hookup gods
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize