..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
