You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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