I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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