areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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