every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
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She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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