You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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