The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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