I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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