Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
