I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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