Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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