Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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