Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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