got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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