You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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