I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
