I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
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Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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