You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize