I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
