Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
