the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
